Jar of Hearts

One of my cute girlfriends posted this on her blog. This is for all of you girls or guys who's ex's are still trying to get you back by using lies and manipulation! Wishing you the vision to see through it and the strength to do what is best for you and your children! Amazing and bold lyrics!




No I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I would have missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

So...

...my daughter came home one day and asked me what a CONDOM was!!! Arghhh, middle school! She had some kids tell her that they saw one on the fence at the school! I have to say that, while it caught me off guard, I was secretly happy she came to me. I'm glad she feels comfortable enough asking and she knew a little about what it was so she totally knew what she was getting into when she asked! She knew it had to do with...well, you all know. And now, she knows exactly what it is and probably knows more than the kids who mentioned it in the first place! It's funny how kids only know bits and pieces of these things. None of them can explain it to the other in details. So one of the most important messages (aside from the actual message) is for kids to go ASK their PARENTS! And parents, please explain this stuff to your children. Talk to them...A LOT! And, it would be wise to do it when they're young. Don't make 'em learn from the streets like I had to! Haha...kidding mom! The book suggests 8 years old. I missed the boat on both my older kids so I plan to do better with the next child. But whatever you do, do it before high school. My favorite high school sex ed story was when a bunch of my friends were together in the car one night and one of my friends asked what a boner was! At age 16!!! We were all shocked...and then...she was grossed out when we told her!!! Funniest thing ever!!!

I have a friend with two boys and she told me about one of her son's friends who got caught shoplifting condoms. He was doing it because he was curious and wanted to see what they were. So, I made sure to tell her if she ever wanted to see one, I would show her. She's not interested right now. Phew! Cuz, unfortunately for me, I pretty much don't have any on hand!

So, since we are on the subject, I will put in my two cents about my sex ed research. I found a book I really liked and used it with two of my kids so far. It's called "How to Talk to Your Child About Sex." Within that book, they recommended the children's book "Where Did I Come From?" Now, read through this book prior to reading it with your child, cuz I can pretty much guarantee, you're gonna giggle! And, read it with your grown siblings and parents, and then you've got yourself a serious party. But, I digress...

I have since heard of another book that I would like to read but haven't done so yet. It's called "What's Love Got to do With It?" The idea is that this is ongoing conversation and not just "the talk" but, I have not been good about that. So, this was a chance to remind my daughter of some of the things we talked about. What are your thoughts, advice and experiences on this subject? I would love to know what has or has not worked for any of you. And, for your reading pleasure as well as ease of knowing what to look for...I present pictures! Cuz, I'm nice like that. :)



And, last but not least...I would suggest buying or letting your child watch this lady (http://pamstenzel.com/) and her video on youtube. I showed you some linky love so just click the gray "her video" and it will take ya right there! (It's in 10 minute increments of six different videos so watch them all!) And, if you buy the DVD, I would suggest buying the public school version as it's less like a born again revival!

That's all for now...happy sex ed parenting!!!

Long time no post...

It's been a very busy life lately. I am finding it a challenge to combine, motherhood, church obligations and a social life all at the same time. I have had so many friends and acquaintances come to me since my divorce seeking friendship, support and answers to their questions. I remember being in THAT place, which is why I wanted to start this blog. But, I'm finding it very difficult to keep this blog up and running. I have so many desires for this blog, but if nothing else, I would like to provide links to sources and other blogs that do a better job than I do. I will still keep trying to get this blog up and running. Please feel free to make comments and suggestions. The more support we build for each other, the better off we all will be and the healthier our children will be! Ultimately, that is what is most important!

Utah's dating coach

This lady is awesome. Buy her book and follow it! It's called "Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man." It's a must-have for anyone who is constantly attracted to the "wrong guys" or has low self esteem or needs to learn basics like flirting. Get in the game!

Not Going Nowhere

The video at the bottom of this blog is the song "Not Going Nowhere" by Babyface. He wrote it for his kids when he and his wife went through their divorce. I first heard this on Oprah. She had a couple episodes regarding children and divorce. They were excellent and full of wonderful advice. If you never had the chance to see it, I recommend the book by Gary Neuman "Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce" listed in my shelfari. It will help you in dealing with your children and helping them get through this. And, please don't think that your children don't need help because they "seem" alright, because chances are their internal dialogue is flooding them with thoughts of blame, unanswered questions and sorrow that they may be hiding. I have been on both sides. I am a child of divorce and a parent of divorce! (FYI: I am not a parent of divorce because I was a child of divorce. Just so that part is clear. I know that can be the case, it is not the case here.) I know what it's like to hide your suffering to protect everyone else. Please, don't be afraid to talk to your kids.

The Beginning...

Everyone has a beginning. Everyone has a story. Everyone has terrible chapters in their stories. So terrible that at times you think you can not go on another day. But, then it clears, even if for a moment. The storm passes and you can breathe again. You have time, whatever length it may be, time to prepare for the next chapter. This blog is a place for me to put my thoughts. A place to talk when no one else can bear to hear it anymore. A place that you may find respite from the terrible chapters in your life. This blog is for those that truly want to put the children first and do what is best for them. The children's story is the story that matters. Their stories tell us if we did it right. I want to do it right and I know so many of you want to do it right. It's not always easy to do the right thing and it's not always fun. My hope is that when our own story finally comes to an end, that our children can say that we made it easier for them. That we cared about their story and how it will end.